What Kevin Really Needs

One of the joys (pitfalls?) of the internet is searching for something, finding a completely different article that catches your interest, clicking on it to read, then seeing another unrelated article which you also click on and read, and so on, and so on, until eighteen clicks later, you are so far down the hyperlink chain you can't remember what you were looking for in the first place, but you sure found some cool stuff along the way!

It was during one of these rabbit hunts that I came across this cool little internet game that I just had to try out. Kudos to whoever thought it up in the first place. Basically, bring up Google and search for "{your first name} needs". Be sure to type the quotes in the search string as well. Then list the first ten matches that you find for some amusing insight. Here's what I got when I typed in "Kevin needs":

1. Kevin needs a picture -- I'm so tired of waiting (see #7)
2. Kevin needs his friends to constantly tell him he's the best -- I didn't realize I was so insecure
3. Kevin needs expert witnesses -- I sense litigation in my future
4. Kevin needs to get a real job -- Hmmm. Perhaps #6 is pointing the way
5. Kevin needs a director -- Yes! They are finally filming my screenplay!!
6. Kevin needs to get pimp lessons from Big C -- Yeah, that Big C is da master!
7. Kevin needs sleep on Flickr -- perhaps I'll post your picture from #1
8. Kevin needs a jail cell or counseling -- I guess that's why I also need #3
9. Kevin needs a vacation -- ah, finally some true wisdom!
10. Kevin needs help -- perhaps the truest insight of the lot :)

Next week, we find out what "Kevin loves", and what "Kevin was killed by".