Fortunes in Bed

A fun little game someone taught me years ago when eating at Chinese restaurants was to add the words "in bed" to the fortune found in your fortune cookie. Here are a few of my favorites:

Your life will be happy and peaceful.

Your genuine talent will find its way to success.

You are the center of every group's attention.

You are talented in many ways.

You are an exciting and inspiring person.

You have great physical powers and an iron concentration.

You will always get what you want through your charm and personality.

Now is a good time to try something new.

You will be awarded a great honor.

Your skills and talents will be called on in unusual areas.

Get your mind set -- confidence will lead you on.

Take no risks with your reputation.

You will soon be receiving sound spoken advice.

You will have no problems in your home.

Your most memorable dream will come true.

Do something unusual tomorrow.

Not Very Heroic, But Hey, Whatever Works

Every Wednesday evening (well, maybe not every, but as often as possible) for the past year, me and two buddies have been getting our inner geek on by playing the computer game Neverwinter Nights into the wee hours of the night. My pal in D.C. hosted a server on his computer, so it was just we three heroes against the evil hordes that threatened the once peaceful city of Neverwinter. Well, last Wednesday our "Epic Quest of Nerdness" came to a close when we reached the final big bad boss -- a rather imposing monster chick going by the moniker of Queen Morag. Check her out in all her evil splendor within the screenshot below.
Once we entered her lair and started laying the smackdown on her, we found to our dismay that nothing we did had absolutely any effect on her. Swords, magic, and Holy Hand Grenades were all shaken off like a summer breeze. It was then that we realized that her praying minions (seen on the right) were each granting her protection from various attacks. So as long as the dude praying for "protection against swords" was alive and praying, no sword could touch her foul hide. Okay, now the only problem was that if we tried to whack on her minions, it left us at her mercy as she easily could pick us off one by one. Time and time again we all were killed, and we had to restart the battle, only to lose once more. It was then that "Fig", the third of our party, suggested that perhaps we could lure her out of the room, and then rush by her quickly (she moved rather slowly) back into the room, and then shut the door on her. That way, we could whomp on her praying minions with ease, and once all her protection was gone, we could open the door and take her down quickly. "Yeah, like that will work", I thought. "The biggest baddest monster in the whole game will be foiled by the fact that she can't turn a freeking doorknob." Well, we tried it.

It worked.

The biggest baddest monster was defeated because she was doorknob challenged. After taking down six or her eight minions, we opened the door where Morag had been patiently waiting outside. Actually, she had gotten bored and wandered further down the hall, forcing us to taunt her into returning back into our room. Once there, my Druid character zapped her with a Harm spell, which she promptly failed her saving throw, dropping her down a whopping 192 hit points in one fell swoop. From there, a few more blows of damage and it was all she wrote. O, Happy Day! Neverwinter was safe once more!

So remember, kiddies. A door can be your friend.