My First Day and the End Days

I successfully survived the first day of employment, and I have cramps in my right hand to prove it, what with all the paperwork signing I performed. We're in the twenty-first century, people! Why must I continue to fill in the same information (name, address, SSN, DOB, yada yada yada) over and over and over again, on form after form after form? Where is our paperless society? Why isn't this information on some sort of scannable RFID chip on my driver's license or something? Sure, there are privacy issues to be addressed; but if the info was encrypted in some fashion with a private key that only I knew, then it would be secure from practically any and all nefarious scanner/hackers. Of course, the downside would be that such a card/chip could be stolen, and then you'd have serious identity theft issues to deal with. To counteract that, and make such a chip "unstealable" (for all intent and purposes), perhaps it could be implanted within the surface skin of your body. Perhaps on your hand. Or forehead. Hmmmmmm. Time to reread the last part of Revelation 13.

T-Minus 18 Hours and Counting

My forced five-week "vacation" is rapidly coming to a close. Early Monday morning, I'll be getting re-briefed, re-badged, and re-acquainted with the working class. My final days are being spent taking care of The Daughter, who got hit with a nasty sinus infection and has been leaving a trail of Kleenex tissues throughout the home. As I said in my last post, we have no health insurance until June; so instead of getting drugs, she gets a Band-Aid on her nose.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

First, the good.

After a few interviews with local companies looking for programmers, I received an offer letter and signed up with a local tech company. They've been around since 1994 and seem pretty stable. I have some friends that work there; in fact, it was one of them who got me the interview so quickly. Another plus is that their central office is located somewhat close to my home, which means I will have the ability to bicycle to work occasionally for some much needed exercise. I am ashamed to admit that my New Year's Resolution to hit the gym more consistantly has failed miserably, so perhaps biking to work will renew my zest for punishing cardio workouts.

Next, the bad.

Being off work since April 7, I am quite anxious to start working again. Although I am grateful for the chance to finally have the "spare" time to clean out the basement, repaint The Daughter's bedroom, and practice my golf swing, such activities do not the mortgage pay. Bills there are, and money I have not. And apparently, make one talk like Yoda it does. So, I was muchly saddened when I discovered that the soonest my company could bring me on board would be the middle of May. Even more so when I learned that I wouldn't have medical or dental insurance until the first of June. So, it means a few more weeks of watching the purse strings, and being careful walking down stairs and stepping out of the shower. I've told The Daughter that May is Health-Awareness Month, where one cannot get sick, or sustain any injury that can't be fixed with a band-aid.

Finally, the ugly.

Yes, it's Sam, the winner of the 2005 Ugliest Dog Contest. Not to mention the fact that Sam also won in 2004 and 2003. Alas, Sam went to that great dog pound in the sky last November, so the door is open for another champion of canine grotesquery this year.

Looking at Sam reminds me of an urban legend I used to pass around during my college days. Seems a family picked up a small rodent-like dog at the pound one day, but later in the week were puzzled by the disappearance of their family cat. Upon investigation, it was found that said dog was not a dog at all, but the infamous Peruvian Rat, a most crafty and bloodthirsty carnivore if ever there was. Yes, little Fluffy had been the main course. So be extra cautious when picking up any stray dogs you may find, or you might face a similar fate!